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Salvation and Ascension
Album Liner Notes
Original concept date: October 20, 2007
Album storyline: Salvation and Ascension is dedicated to the life and memory of
Travis "Wrath" Crider, my best friend and co-founder of Betrayed With A Kiss.
Travie passed away on August 21, 2008 due to complications ten months after
receiving a liver transplant. The album is based on a question he asked me a
few days before the surgery. He asked if he'd wasted his second chance at life
pursuing a career in music.
You see, Travis had childhood leukemia. By the time the disease was diagnosed it
had progressed into its final stages, and the chances of survival were extremely
slim. His road to recovery was long and painful, but against all odds, the leukemia
went into remission and Travis was granted a second chance at life.
It was during treatment for leukemia that Travie really dedicated himself to playing
guitar, learning how to play Kiss songs in his hospital bed. According to his friend
Duane, "Travis played to live." This was my first counter to his question. By all
accounts, if not for the guitar and his favorite band, Kiss (who actually visited
him in the hosptial), he wouldn't have survived the disease. In short, music saved
his life.
It was during our conversation that the subject of the numerous emails and letters we'd
received from fans came up. Over the years, fans have shared their stories with us, and
at times, thanked us for writing music that had helped them through a difficult time in
their lives. On a few occasions, they credited the music for helping save their lives.
He hadn't thought of that until that moment, and when he realized the truth of it, a
weight seemed to be lifted from him. It simply had not occured to him that his life and
his music had positively impacted the lives of others.
Days later, as Travis lay in a coma, the doctors told his family that the chances a liver
would become available in time, given his rapidly deteriorating condition, were very
unlikely. They gave it a matter of hours. It was during these very uncertain hours
that I sat down and penned out the album in its entirety. As fate would have it, a
liver became available at 5 a.m. on October 21, 2007, and, at the eleventh hour, Travis
was given another chance at life.
Shortly after, I told him that I'd penned out a concept about our discussion, one that
loosely told the story of those final months leading up to the transplant. I also told
him that I'd spoken with his good friend Shred about the possibility of helping out with
it. I'm not really sure what I expected, but I'm quite certain I did not expect his
response. Travis began to cry. He asked, "Can we still do that, Rob? Can we still do it?"
Near tears myself, I said, "Of course we can, Brother...whatever you want." Soon after,
we began writing songs that would eventually end up on this album.
Travis began playing and writing with a vigor I'd never seen in him before. We quickly
wrote "Under the Dead" and the song that would eventually become "Wrath". Prior to his
surgery we'd written "It Makes Me" and "Die Alone". On August 17th, 2008, we finished
the song "Under the Dead". Four days later, Travie passed away.
Several months went by, months that I do not wish to recall or remember. The band was
in limbo. For my part, I was certain that I could not carry on in any band, let alone
in Betrayed With A Kiss. In November I picked up my guitar for the first time since
August 17th, and immediately wrote the song "Goodbye, My Love", literally crying like
a baby the entire time. There was no intention on my part to write anything. The song
just appeared, like I'd already played it a million times before. When it was done I
called Pride and asked him to come hang out for a bit. During that visit I played the
song for him. He came up with lyrics on the spot, and no more than 30 seconds later we
were both sobbing and unable to continue. It was at that moment that I knew I would
not be able to carry on with the band.
In January I received a phone call from Travie's dad, George. We talked about Travie
for a while, then he asked if I'd decided what I was going to do about Betrayed. I told
him that it seemed impossible to carry on without Travis, and that I had decided to walk
away. George said, and I quote, "Rob, you know what Travis would do if he heard you say
that? He'd kick your ass!" There was much more, though the specifics escape me at the
moment. Suffice it to say, George's argument was very compelling. When I realized the
truth of what he'd said, I decided to give it another try.
Putting the band back together without Travis was very difficult for all of us, including
Shred, who you now know as Greed, but if for no other reason than we've been able to
honor our fallen Brother, it was worth it. Along the way we became friends again, and
found ourselves again. Our original purpose was to preserve Travie's memory. While
doing so, we found a new purpose, another reason to carry on. I honestly believe that
Travis would be extremely proud of the album, and what we've accomplished together.
That is a great comfort to me, having been so afraid to go on without him. We still
struggle with grief, and there are times when the tears come in an unexpected flood,
something I'm sure will happen less often as time goes on. In a way, though, I hope I'm
wrong. In a way I hope the agony of his loss stays fresh. I've never begrudged the
pain of losing my best friend, you see. It was worth every ounce of grief and pain
to be a part of his rather remarkable life. I believe I can safely say that all of
us feel that way. The only thing left to say is this: I wish you could have
known him as we did.
Brief Overview of the Story by Track:
Prologue: Betrayed With A Kiss - this instrumental track sets the tone of the album.
Grief has no voice; it's a mindless thing that takes over everything. It forces one
to see everything as if looking through a cracked pane of dirty glass. That's what
this track is about - our grief. It was intended to be an instrumental from the
beginning, and so it remains.
Wrath - there were so many times when Travis took the stage while in severe pain.
He always managed to put on a smile and give 100% for every performance.
It Makes Me - this song is about the unseen thing that drives all musicians to do
what we do, even in the face of great opposition by those closest to us.
Black Days - Travis was the strongest person I've ever known. Through great pain
and fear, he always managed to smile. Black Days loosely describes what he was
feeling the day he asked if he'd wasted his second chance, when all hope seemed
to be lost.
Under the Dead - Travie felt torn about the idea of transplant. On one hand he
wanted to live. On the other hand, he felt a certain guilt in wishing for a thing
that could only come to him when someone else died. It's also worth noting that
he had survivor's guilt from being a kid with leukemia. He once told me that he'd
made friends with other kids who weren't as sick as he was, yet some of them had
not survived. He said he felt guilty and almost ashamed that he had lived and
they had not.
Kayla's Song - Kayla is a character that is a composite of the fans who have sent
letters over the years. To give the story a bit of perspective, Kayla is a character
at the end of her rope. She's ready to give up and end her pain. Her story is
purposely thin. From our standpoint, as a band who receives a thank you letter,
we can only imagine the pain she's experienced, within the confines of the words
written and pages sent. Kayla's story is told from the perspective of us trying to
put ourselves in her shoes; imagining, in a sense, what she's written.
Will of Stone - In the face of death, Travis never gave up, never felt sorry for
himself, and never let his head hang down. I believe his faith had a lot to do
with that, which is why it's reflected in the lyrics.
Die Alone - The lyrics explain the meaning of this song without need for elaboration.
Goodbye, My Love - Before the last live performance we did with Travis, on the way to
the gig, Travis and I had a very deep discussion about some of the things that had
gone unsaid before he'd fallen into a coma. Looking back, I think he knew his life on
this plane was nearing it's conclusion. He very frankly told me that he was not
"...looking that far ahead", with regard to our conversation. During this conversation
he told me how lucky he was to have the love and support of his wife, Kim. We wrote
this song with that in mind, but also with everyone who's ever lost a loved one in
mind. All too often, loved ones are taken away with so much left unsaid. At the end
of this song, Wrath dies.
Salvation and Ascension - In part one, Wrath is met on the "other side" by God, who
explains the purpose of Wrath's life. He tells Wrath that he'd followed the path
set for him, and that his work is done now. In part two, Wrath ascends to Heaven,
and in part three, we close the song with a very heavy, original spiritual that
is inspired by Alexander Pope's poem "Messiah". You'll also find another
reference to Pope's poem in "Will of Stone", in the lyric, "in adamantine
chains may death be bound."
Legends Never Die - This song is based on something that happened during Travie's
funeral. At the end of the graveside service, the preacher finished his final
prayer, then stood back and said, "This concludes our service.". It was our
cue to leave. I remember looking at the man, quite reproachfully, and
thinking, "It's over for you, not us." Oddly, no one moved or said a word.
Strong emotion dialates time, by which I mean to say, I really have no idea
how long we stood there, silently giving tribute to Travis "Wrath" Crider.
It may have been twenty minutes or an hour. All I know for sure is the preacher
was very uncomfortable and walked away perplexed without uttering another word.
My guess is that it was a new experience for him. Travie didn't know how many
lives he'd affected, or how much he was loved. The funeral procession was over
two miles long, by the funeral home's account, if that gives you any idea. I
hope he was watching that day.
Epilogue: Home - This song is based on our most popular song to date, "Almost Home".
The lyrics were slightly altered and wrap up the album nicely, I think. If you've
taken time to read the lyrics and follow our story, what we are saying to you, what
I believe Travis would say to you is this: your life has purpose...even if that
purpose isn't clear to you now, even if that purpose is never revealed. Live it
accordingly.
Thank you for taking time to read this, for your interest in the story of the album,
and for your support.
Rob Mason (aka Lust), Betrayed With A Kiss
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| Prologue: Betrayed With A Kiss |
Wrath
Wrath
(Crider, Mason, Young, Lykins)
I've been through my darkest days
Sometimes I feel unwanted pain
Suffer to the things I cannot understand
Stand up, fight and be a man
The trials before me seem to fade away
With the Apocalypse in my hand, I feel so alive
No one sees the hidden pain as I step up on the stage
All this time I act like everything's okay
They look to me with a smile on their face
Behind this man they do not see
The struggle I face every day
The trials before me seem to fade away
With the Apocalypse in my hand, I feel so alive
No one sees the hidden pain as I step up on the stage
If you've been through your darkest days
You'll put out your lies and pain
Seize every moment make a stand
Stand up, fight and be a man
The trials before me seem to fade away
With the Apocalypse in my hand, I feel so alive
No one sees the hidden pain as I step up on the stage
Note: The "Apocalypse" referred to in this song is a Paul Stanley
signature series guitar from Silvertone.
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It Makes Me
It Makes Me
(Crider, Mason, Lykins)
I try to portray, source of my happiness
Breathing, bleeding nothing but it
I cannot make you understand
It's who I am, it's in my blood
It makes me complete and feel so alive
It makes me
Through with your ignorance, not satisfied with me
You are so miserable with yourself
I hate to see you even breathe
I cannot make you understand
It's who I am, it's in my blood
It makes me complete and feel so alive
It makes me
I'm through with you, done with you, through with you
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Black Days
Black Days
(Young, Lykins)
Even though I'm awake, the darkness never fades
Despair and agony haunting me
Feeling that all hope is gone
Because black days come and go
In this I feel no hope through the eye of the storm
As my world seems to burn, there is no flame within
Nothing can fill my empty soul
There has to be more than what I'm dying for
Nothing can fill my empty soul
There's got to be more than what I'm fighting for
Now I'm reaching...
Feeling that all hope is gone
Because black days come and go
In this I feel no hope through eye of the storm
As my world seems to burn, there is no flame within
Nothing can fill my empty soul
Black, black, black, black days...
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Under the Dead
Under the Dead
(Crider, Mason, Lykins)
Stop the war of endlessness
No one can explain
When you stand at the edge of fear and pain
Fighting back from the brink, what the world expects
As your family prays for your return
My body lays under the dead, it's the only way to survive
Pray for a miracle to save my life
Do all that you can to justify
Taking the gift when someone dies
Under the dead, you're bled, under the dead
So my body won't die, won't die, won't die
Declare war on this goddamned disease
Because you cannot, cannot retreat
Fighting back from the brink, what the world expects
As your family prays for your return
My body lays under the dead, it's the only way to survive
Pray for a miracle to save my life
Do all that you can to justify
Taking the gift when someone dies
Under the dead, you're bled, under the dead
My body won't die, won't die, won't die
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Kayla's Song
Kayla's Song
(Barlow, Mason, Young, Lykins)
I am overwhelmed with troubles
And my life draws near to death
I'm counted among those who go down to the pit
Like the slain who lie in the grave
Who you remember no more
Cut off from your care
You see right through me
Why won't you help me?
I call out to you
Stretched out my hands, where are your wonders
No love in the grave, no faith in destruction
There has to be more to this life
Than what I've come to realize
From my youth I have suffered
And been close to death
I have borne your terrors and am in despair
Your wrath has swept over me
Your terrors have destroyed me
Your wrath has swept over me
All day long, they surround me
You see right through me
Why won't you help me?
I call out to you
Stretched out my hands, where are your wonders
No love in the grave, no faith in destruction
There has to be more to this life
Than what I've come to realize
I am confined and cannot escape
My eyes are dim with grief
You have taken from me my closest friends
And made me repulsive to them
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Will of Stone
Will of Stone
(Young, Mason, Lykins)
When the darkness comes I will look it in the eye
I will not relent, never compromise
Within me the will to fight
This is not my first time
Death may take me, but it will never break me
The world may shake me, my God will not forsake me
I will not let my head hang down
It's something in me
As I fall, you pick me up, you lift me up
I shall not fear the darkness now
In adamantine chains may death be bound
The promised glory
Warrior for Christ, not on my own
God gave me this will of stone
To my Father I have atoned
God gave me a will of stone
An immortal life is not my goal
In the Kingdom of Heaven there is so much more
"Unto all things through Christ, which strengthenth me"
Death may take me, but it will never break me
The world my shake me, my God will not forsake me
I will not let my head hang down
It's something in me
As I fall, you pick me up, you lift me up
I shall not fear the darkness now
In adamantine chains may death be bound
The promised glory
Warrior for Christ, not on my own
God gave me this will of stone
To my Father I have atoned
God gave me a will of stone
May this be a battle
A tribute to God
Who lifts me up, who picks me up
I will not let my head hang down in shame, it's something in me
There is no hate
Just love...
Note: Adamantine Definition
1. made of or having the quality of adamant
2. rigidly firm: unyielding
3. resembling the diamond in hardness or luster
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Die Alone
Die Alone
(Crider, Mason, Lykins)
I've seen that look many times before
It's on the face of all who stand at hell's door
You've gone through life, always muddied the way
Never prepared for that final day
As your soul fades away
And your body turns to dust
You won't die alone
The path you choose will lead you not to die alone
Prepare for the way, cuz you cannot stay
All our bodies are all doomed to dust
Your soul will live on if in God you trust
He gives us life, we choose our own way
Are you prepared for that final day?
As your soul fades away
And your body turns to dust
You won't die alone
The path you choose will lead you not to die alone
Prepare for the way, cuz you cannot stay
Die alone! Die alone! Die alone!
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Goodbye, My Love
Goodbye, My Love
(Mason, Lykins)
I have struggled through this life
With only you to keep me here
Now it's time for me to go
But I wanted you to know...
Thank you for your love
Thank you for your belief in me and all my dreams
And I, I wanted you to know
I will always be here, but it's time for me to go
Cuz I'm looking down from up above
I thank you for all your love
I thank you
I thank you
The times we shared will drive away the tears
This last year has been our best
Outshined all our fears
I'll wait for you, my Love
I'll be there with you
From up above...
Thank you for your love
Thank you for your believe in me and all my dreams
And I, I wanted you to know
I will always be here, but it's time for me to go
Cuz I'm looking down from up above
I thank you for all your love
I thank you
I thank you...
Goodbye, my Love
Don't cry for me
Goodbye, my Love
Don't cry for me...
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Salvation and Ascension
Salvation and Ascension
(Music and lyrics: Mason | Interlude Orchestration: Harrell)
I hear You calling my name
Finally free from the bonds of fear and pain
That have held me down for so long I could not believe
My son it's time to come home
You were never alone
I was by your side the whole time and your work is done now
No more loss, no more pain
No more things that made you say
"Have I wasted the chance that God has given me?"
As you look through my eyes
See your life and realize
You followed my path for you, now you're in the clearing
I'm free, I'm free, I am free, I am free, I'm free...
I saw a girl in the rain
Lost in a loney place
She would have taken her own life, I could not allow it
In a world of disdain
Her faith began to wane
She was destined to die and then your music saved her
You see, she'll have a son
He will take my message to some
Another link in life's long chain that must not be broken
You were a link in my chain
Your songs were forged from love and pain
With strength, hope and faith, you are her salvation
She's free, she's free, she is free, she is free, she's free...
(Part III: From the poem "Messiah" by Alexandar Pope)
The sick and the weak, the healing plant shall aid
From storm a shelter and from heat a shade
All crimes shall cease
And ancient frauds shall fail
Returning justice, life aloft her scale
Peace o'er the world
Her olive wand extend
And white-robed innocence from Heaven descend
No more shall nation against nation rise
Nor ardent warriors meet with hateful eyes
But lost, dissolved in Thy superior rays
One tide of glory, one unclouded blaze
Overflow thy courts, the Light Himself shall shine
And God's eternal day be thine
The Savior comes
By ancient bards foretold
Hear Him, ye deaf
All ye blind, behold
He from thick films
Shall purge the visual ray
And on the sightless eye, pour the day
Tis' he the obstructed paths
Of sound shall clear
And bid new music
Charm the unfolding ear
The dumb shall sing
The lame his crutch forego
And leap exulting
Like the bounding roe
No more shall nation against nation rise
Nor ardent warriors meet with hateful eyes
But lost, dissolve in Thy superior rays
One tide of glory, one unclouded blaze
Overflow thy courts, the Light Himself shall shine
And God's eternal day be thine
No fields with gleamin steel, be covered over
Brazen trumpets kindle rage no more
Rage no more, rage no more
The seas shall waste
The skies in smoke decay
Rocks fall to dust and mountains melt away
But fixed His word
His saving power remains
Thy realm forever lasts
Thy own Messiah reigns
Messiah reigns!
Messiah reigns!
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Legends Never Die
Legends Never Die
(Young, Crider, Lykins)
We all stand but it's over
Something is drawing us closer
This man who will live on
Never ceased to show us what it means to live
Giving all he had to give
Touched more lives than he will ever know
Bodies inked just to show
After you were gone, some of us refused to go on
But we had to, so you would be remembered
My Father, forgive them in their time of grief
Living through memories, fighting through all this disease
Memories were meant to last
Through visions of the past, your life remembered
Silence rings through us
Feet planted to the ground, nothing not a sound
Legends Never Die
Legends Never Die
Every note and tune makes us all remember you
Your belief in others made them shine
You knew there was a limited time
Never knowing the reason why
Now we can say, Legends Never Die
After you were gone, some of us refused to go on
But we had to, so you would be remembered
My Father, forgive them in their time of grief
Living through memories, fighting through all this disease
Memories were meant to last
Through visions of the past, your life remembered
Silence rings through us
Feet planted to the ground, nothing not a sound
Legends Never Die
Legends Never Die
Now it seems all too clear
Times we know and hold dear
You were chosen by God to change the lives of those around you
Now it seems all too clear
Times which we hold dear
You were chosen by God to change the lives of those around you
This is a tribute to you
Your body is gone, your spirit eternal
We will see you again, my Friend
Til then we'll carry on
Smiling through the pain
You changed us all, the lessons you taught us all
Now we can say Legends Never Die
After you were gone, some of us refused to go on
But we had to, so you would be remembered
My Father, forgive them in their time of grief
Living through memories, fighting through all this disease
Memories were meant to last
Through visions of the past, your life remembered
Silence rings through us
Feet planted to the ground, nothing not a sound
Legends Never Die
Legends Never Die
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Epilogue: Home
Epilogue: Home
(Lykins)
You lift your hands to the sky
And now you know the reason why
You see, it brings you closer to the light
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